The Hat That Ate NYC

Alright, I know there are blogs out there that show you only the best of what the knitter can do.  The finest projects and the greatest triumphs.

That is not this blog.

This hat is not good.



Ok, seriously, WTF was the pattern writer thinking?!  Did she even knit an adult size hat or did she arbitrarily choose a bigger size of needles and yarn and hope that it would all work out right?  I'm seriously hoping it was the second because if it was the first, man, I feel sorry for her family because this woman does not live in reality.

Ok, maybe I'm being too harsh.  Maybe there's a good explanation for all this, like her husband was regretfully suffering from encephalitis at the time.

I'm going to hell, I already know this.
I think this hat is going to eat me and send me there in a handbasket.

Ok, back to the hat.  It's not just huge, it's monstrous.  It's also kind of cute in this pointy-star jester sort of way.  But that doesn't excuse the fact that if it had a neck hole I could wear it as a tank top.

I am doing a load of jeans tonight.  Though I have slowly switched over from machine felting to hand felting, this hat is getting shown no mercy.  I figure one of three things will happen:

1. It will felt down small enough to fit my head and I'll have a hat
2. It will felt down small enough to fit my head, but it will be so thick and heavy I will not have a hat
3. It will felt down, but it will never get small enough to fit my head and I still will not have a hat.

I am suspecting 1 is a pipe dream, options 2 and 3 are looking far more likely at the moment.  I am prepared for this eventuality!

I always wanted a smashing, decorative felted bowl.